


Sun and Moon

by Lady_Faulkner



Series: Under the Asgardian Sky [1]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Homophobia, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Male Homosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-01-31 12:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12682299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Faulkner/pseuds/Lady_Faulkner
Summary: As the sun gives light to the moon, Thor has always been a bright spot in Loki's life. But will Loki's growing desire for his brother burn him?





	1. Sun and Moon: First Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An innocent child's kiss can ignite the beginnings of a lifelong love.

Under the Asgardian sky, two boys took a break from their lessons. One was tall, with the makings of a wide build, despite his young age. His hair was blonde and shone like gold in the afternoon sun, while his sapphire blue eyes glowed with their own joyful light. His companion was small and slim, almost sickly in appearance. His hair was the color of a raven’s wing and his eyes a glittering emerald. Their garments were of the finest quality and the embellishments proclaimed them to be of the House of Odin. The blonde boy wore red, blue, and silver, while the dark-haired boy wore green, black, and gold, but the designs were similar; a decision dictated by their mother. They were brothers in name alone, but it would be many years before they would discover this. For now, they were Thor and Loki, the sons of Odin.

Loki sat under a large apple tree that grew in the middle of the courtyard that adjoined their nursery, a large, leather bound book balance precariously on his small knees. His eyes skimmed the runes, but were constantly following his elder brother. Thor was running around with a stick in his hand, pretending it was a sword, and the air around him an unseen enemy to be vanquished. He stabbed one such enemy and ran to Loki, a large, goofy grin consuming his face.

“Loki, I have slain the monster and freed you!” he reported, running to the apple tree.

Loki looked up from his book. “I did not know I was captured,” he replied.

Thor’s smile dropped from his face. “It was holding you captive under the tree,” he explained, with a pout. “I freed you.”

“I’m not a princess!” Loki protested, putting together Thor’s fantasy.

“You needed rescuing,” Thor insisted, puffing out his chest. “Princesses always need rescuing.”

“I’m not a princess, Thor,” Loki returned, snapping his book shut.

Thor pressed his lips together in irritation and crossed his arms over his chest.

Loki sighed, his brother was impossible when his pride was bruised. “Do you want a reward for saving me?” he muttered.

Thor’s face light up and he gave Loki a quick peck on the lips. Loki’s eyes widened and his face reddened.

“I’m supposed to give you the reward, dummy!” he snapped, thumping his book on Thor’s head.

“Ow, Loki,” Thor whined, rubbing his head while tears bubbled in his eyes.

Loki’s expression softened and he placed a soft kiss on Thor’s head, as he had seen their mother do whenever Thor hurt himself. “Better?” he inquired.

Thor smiled before throwing his arms around his little brother.

“Get off me!” Loki protested as Thor crushed him against his chest. “Thor, I can’t breathe!”

“Thor, be gentle with your brother,” their mother’s voice cautioned from Thor’s left.

“Mother, I have slayed the beast and rescued Loki!” Thor exclaimed, running to her side.

Frigga laughed and smiled warmly at him. “How brave you are, Thor,” she praised.

Loki rolled his eyes and sat back down under the tree. He reopened his book and pantomimed reading, while his ears listened intently to his mother and brother’s conversation.

“I kissed Loki,” Thor informed his mother happily. “That was my reward for saving him!”

“Thor,” Frigga said, kneeling beside him, “Loki is your brother. You do no kiss your brother.”

“It was my reward,” Thor protested, pouting at his mother.

Frigga smiled and ruffled her son’s golden hair. “There are other ways to be rewarded,” she informed him.

Thor nodded and walked off, picking up a stick as he did, before sitting down and doodling in the dirt, his head resting on his hand. Frigga watched him and sighed, knowing that his mood would improve before long, but that he would be difficult until then. She resolved to leave him to his own devices and swept over to Loki.

“Is this one interesting you?” she inquired, sitting beside her dark-haired son.

“Yes, thank you mother,” he said kindly, looking up from a passage he had been studying.

Frigga smiled at him and felt a twinge of pain in her heart. Although Loki was not her trueborn son, she felt an amount of affection for him which she did not feel for Thor. Thor was brash, and single-minded like his father, but she knew that he would grow into a wise king. Then there was Loki; clever and cunning, gifted in the magical arts, and wise beyond his years, who would never sit upon the throne of Asgard because of the Jotun parentage. It pained Frigga to watch Loki study with such determination to become a king, but she could not bring herself to shatter his dreams.

“I didn’t mind,” Loki informed her, looking directly into her eyes. “Thor kissing me,” he added for clarification.

“He is your brother,” Frigga reminded him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “That is not something brothers do.”

“Oh,” Loki whispered, dropping his gaze.

Thor seemed to easily forget that day, but it was forever seared in Loki’s mind. There had always been something about Thor that had fascinated him, and Loki had hated Thor for it. His brother was impulsive and idiotic, but he could also be kind and gentle, and it was this dichotomy that drew Loki’s interest. Then, with that innocent kiss, Thor had stolen Loki’s heart, and Loki’s hatred of him intensified.

 


	2. Sun and Moon: Second Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Loki ages, he finds it harder and harder to ignore his feelings for Thor, but with age comes the understanding of consequences.

The years passed with the seasons. One day, in his adolescence, Loki found himself sitting under the courtyard tree, under which Thor had kissed him. For a moment, he felt the ghost of Thor's innocent kiss on his lips while a fire flared in his groin. 

“Hey, Loki!” Thor’s voice boomed from across the courtyard.

Loki’s chest tightened and he squirmed nervously as his brother ran to his side. Thor had entered adolescence long before Loki, and the sparse hairs on his neck and chin, which he frequently shaved off, gave testimony to the man he was becoming. There was also something about him that Loki could not quite name. The simplest of actions drew Loki’s attention to his brother and enthralled him in a way they never had.

“What are you doing?” Thor inquired, dropping down next to Loki.

“Just thinking, brother,” Loki responded dismissively, trying to ignore how close Thor was to him.

“You are always thinking, Loki,” Thor sighed with a smile.

“More than you,” Loki shot back.

“Is that so?” Thor demanded, leaning in to intimidate Loki.

“Yes,” Loki snapped, realizing how close Thor’s face was to his.

“Just because I don’t read all day,” Thor mocked.

Loki kissed him.

The action had been instinctual for Loki, and caught both of them off guard.

Thor blinked in disbelief. “What the hell?” he breathed.

Loki’s eyes were wide with terror. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, don’t tell mother!”

“The hell, Loki? I’m your brother,” Thor continued, too dumbstruck to listen.

Loki’s heart was racing. “I didn’t…,” he stammered before running away.

“Loki!” Thor shouted after him.

Loki’s long legs carried him through the back passageways of the palace. He was guided only by half-formed thoughts urging him blindly forward. He climbed and climbed until he reached his favorite hideaway; the tallest tower of the palace. Nothing was kept in there, partially because of the narrow stairs, but mostly because the room was too small for practical use.

Loki burst into the tower room and began paced frantically. He cursed himself under his breath and tried to make sense of what had just happened.

“He’s my brother. I shouldn’t have done that,” he muttered mindlessly. “He’s my brother; you don’t kiss your brother, you don’t….”

A dark realization swept over Loki and his blood run cold; he’d enjoyed it. He’d enjoyed kissing Thor. He wanted to do it again. He’d been wanting to ever since Thor had kissed him. His legs gave out under him and he collapsed on the tower floor. Tears clouded his vision and spilled onto his cheeks. A man loving another man was forbidden and punishable by castration and public humiliation. Loving one’s brother beyond fraternity had but one sentence; death.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Loki breathed. “I’m not…”

Cold tears blurred Loki’s vision and stained his cheeks. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his knees.

“No, no, no,” he whispered to himself.

He longed for someone to find him, to touch his arm and comfort him. To tell him that he was wrong, that what he felt was something he was imagining; that everything would be fine. But no one came and what he felt continued to ache inside his breast.

“I’m going to die,” Loki admitted to himself.

The thought terrified him, but saying it out loud made it more factual. Now he could anticipate the guards finding him and dragging him to the dungeons. Being tried before Odin, having to listen to Thor’s testimony and watch his mother cry as he was condemned to die. It all formed a neat picture in his head until he could clearly see everything up to the moment of his death. All he had to do was wait to be discovered.

An hour passed, and Loki rose to his feet to glance out the window. Everything seemed normal below, but that meant nothing. Any moment now, he would be discovered at the window, bathed in the afternoon sun before being dragged to the dungeons. Loki smiled faintly at this picturesque fantasy and continued to wait.

The sun began to set, and still no one came. What were they waiting for? Where they waiting for him to come down? The stairs were rather narrow, so sending someone up would be difficult. That had to be it; they were waiting for him to feel safe enough to descend from the tower before arresting him.

Another hour passed, and Loki heard finally heard footfalls on the stairs. His heart raced, and his composure vanished, along with his grand fantasies of being captured without a fight. Loki realized how trapped he was in the tower and wished he had picked a better place to hide.

“Loki?” a gentle voice whispered.

Fury rose in Loki’s breast as Thor’s golden head appeared at the top of the staircase. “You?” he roared. “They sent you to arrest me?”

“Arrest you?” Thor repeated, thoroughly confused. “Mother sent me to find you. You missed dinner and she was getting worried.”

“Worried that I would miss my curfew in prison?” Loki hissed.

“Loki, you are not under arrest,” Thor informed him, stepping into the tower room. “Why would you-?”

“-Are you so thick headed that you don’t understand?” Loki yelled. “By kissing you, I signed my own execution order!”

Thor’s mouth fell open. “You…you have been hiding up here all afternoon, because you thought...? Loki, why would I…?”

“Because I am base and unnatural,” Loki sneered.

Thor closed the space between them in two long steps and pulled Loki into his arms. “Stop, Loki. Please. Stop,” Thor pleaded in Loki’s ear.

“…You didn’t tell?” Loki inquired.

“I didn’t,” Thor confirmed.

“Why?” Loki hissed.

Thor pulled away from Loki, so they could see each other’s faces.

“I am your elder brother,” Thor whispered, “and it is my job to look after you.”

He leaned in and kissed Loki’s forehead.

“Brother,” Loki muttered.

“When I am king, I shall do away with father’s law,” Thor vowed. "You won't have to feel ashamed, Loki." 

“You cannot do away with all of it,” Loki returned.

“I can do away with enough of it,” Thor replied.

Loki forced himself to smile. “You are a fool.”

“Perhaps I am,” Thor admitted hollowly before turning away from Loki.

Something in his brother’s tone caught Loki’s attention, but he decided not to press the matter any further and followed him down the stairs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I hug Loki and tell him everything will be okay, and that he's loved?


	3. Sun and Moon: Third Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moon reflects the sun's light, but what is in it's shadow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE BE ADVISED: This chapter contains an attempted suicide.

The next few years were hell for Loki. Now that he knew the truth about himself, it became increasingly difficult for him to ignore his desires. He caught himself fantasizing about Thor kissing him, caressing him, and sometimes even bedding him, and the throbbing heat of his groin only served to worsen his self-loathing. It was not always Thor either. Fandral repeatedly entered Loki’s fantasies and so did Hogun from time to time. Even Sif made an occasional appearance, but those were far and few between, especially once Loki saw her in Thor’s arms, the two of them hidden behind a pillar.

This discovery marked the beginning of a deep depression for Loki. Thor was becoming more like Odin with each passing day, and for Loki, this solidified his long-held belief that nothing would ever change for him. Once Thor ascended to the throne, he would be bound to uphold the laws and traditions of Asgard, which would make him forget his promise to Loki. Even if he did change the law, Loki was still guilty of his incestuous desire, and that was a law not even the king could abolish.

On the night before Thor’s coronation, the wine and mead casks overflowed at dinner and Loki half-drowned himself in his cup, outdone only by Thor himself. Afterward, Loki staggered back to his chambers and stepped up onto the balcony rail. Despite his state of intoxication, Loki’s impeccable balance seemed unaffected and served as the only thing keeping him from falling to the courtyard below. He heard the door opened over his shoulder, but Loki no longer cared. His eyes were focused on the stars above him while his mind swirled with alcohol and increasingly vivid thoughts of stepping off the rail.

“Loki!” Thor’s unmistakable, booming voice screamed behind him, followed by his pounding footsteps. “Get down from there!”

Loki closed his eyes and tried to shut his ears to Thor’s pleas.

“Brother, please, come down from there,” Thor whispered from Loki’s right.

His voice was soft but choked with fear, and Loki was momentarily moved by his brother’s concern. Then he turned to face the future king.

“Why?” he hissed, balling his hands into fists.

“Loki, please…please, tell me this is not what it looks like,” Thor begged, meeting Loki’s cold eyes.

“It is,” Loki returned, his voice like ice.

“Loki, please, come down from there,” Thor coaxed, offering Loki his hand. “We can discuss this, brother.”

A fire flared behind Loki’s eyes and he turned away from Thor.

“Brother, please,” Thor said softly.

Loki hunched his shoulders. “Don’t call me that,” he spat.

“Loki, please, talk to me,” Thor said, his voice soft. “Let me help you.”

“There is nothing you can do for me,” Loki muttered.

“Should I call for mother?” Thor inquired, taking a half-step away from his desperate brother.

“NO,” Loki shouted before adding softly, “Don’t leave me, please.”

Thor paused and slowly met his brother’s eyes. “I give you my word that I will not leave your side, Loki,” he whispered.

“Liar,” Loki muttered bitterly.

“I have always keep my word to you, brother,” Thor reminded him. “I will not break it now.”

Loki shook his head. “You will, in time,” he mused.

“Have I not kept your secret all these years, brother?” Thor whispered. “I vowed to you that when I am king, I will repeal the law that binds you. I have not changed my mind, Loki. I will do it, I swear to you that it shall be my first act as king.”  

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head skyward. “Stop,” he whispered.

Thor whispered Loki’s name, his voice thick with drink and coated with concern. It floated warmly into Loki’s ears and gave him a moment of calm.

“Thor,” Loki breathed, “say my name again.”

Thor’s eyebrows contracted but he obliged, and an involuntary smile twisted the ends of Loki’s lips. 

“Again,” Loki insisted, turning to face Thor.

“Loki,” Thor repeated.

Loki bent at the waist, bringing his face close to Thor’s. “Again,” he commanded.

“Loki,” Thor obeyed.

Loki smirked before considering Thor’s eyes, which shone with fear for him.

“Loki,” Thor offered.

“Thor,” Loki whispered back before pressing his lips against Thor’s.

He longed to run his tongue over Thor’s lips, to taste the juices and fats that lingered there, to drink the keg of mead that clung to Thor’s hot breath, but Thor was fighting him, and Loki wouldn’t be able to hold him for much longer. Loki pulled back, as tears streamed down his cheeks and blurring his vision, so he couldn’t see Thor’s face. He straightened and leaned back until his body screamed at him to stop, but he didn’t listen.

Cold evening air encircled him, and his raven hair feathered around his angular face as he fell. His eyes looked up at Thor and smiled as his brother screamed his name.

“Goodbye,” Loki whispered to himself with closed eyes as he braced his body for impact.

A pair of strong arms hooked themselves under Loki’s and he began to ascend towards the balcony he’d fallen from. He was set down gently before being pressed into Thor’s barrel chest. Loki squirmed but he was held firm by the thunder god’s bone crushing strength and Mjolnir’s weight on his back.

“Loki,” Thor’s voice was a thin whisper.

“Let me go,” Loki growled.

“No,” Thor insisted.

“Thor,” Loki snapped.

Thor grabbed Loki by the back of the neck, forcing their eyes to meet. Loki’s heart broke as he beheld the unbridled pain and fear in the sapphire of Thor’s eyes.

“Why, Loki?” Thor breathed.

“Why?” Loki snapped in disbelief, “Don’t mock me, Thor, you know perfectly well why!”

“I am not mocking you,” Thor insisted.

Loki fought against his brother’s iron grip. “Let go of me!”

“No, Loki,” Thor returned resolutely.

“Why? I’m sick, and the sick die. I’m just saving you the trouble of a guilty verdict,” Loki spat.

“Loki, you are not sick,” Thor insisted, “and I will now prosecute you for who you are.”

“I’m unnatural, Thor,” Loki shot back. “What I feel is base and foul!”

Thor opened his mouth, closed it, and dropped his gaze. “Loki, why do you doubt that I will do everything I can to protect you?”

“Enough with your false sympathy and lies,” Loki snapped.

Thor’s eyes flashed. “Is that what you believe this is?”

“What else could it be?” Loki challenged. “We have been taught since boyhood that a man loving another man is an unnatural sickness. Why shield me? You gain nothing from it.”

“What you feel for me is not natural between brothers, but I do not hate you because of it,” Thor said, his voice weak. “You are still my brother, Loki. No matter how you feel towards me, I will do everything I can to keep you safe.”

“A fine sentiment for a prince, but will you feel the same once you are king?” Loki quipped.

“Father is wrong to condemn those who feel as you do, Loki,” Thor insisted.

Loki blinked at him, speechless at his brother’s words. Thor was simple. He didn’t lie as easily as Loki did, so there was no need for Loki to analyze every word he spoke. If it came out of Thor’s big mouth, one could trust that it was true. Hearing Thor denounce their childhood teachings was unbelievable, but Thor’s voice was steady and his eyes clear as he said it and Loki was convinced that Thor believed what he was saying.

“Loki, forgive me, if I ever lead you to believe that my support for you was false,” he whispered.

 “I do,” Loki muttered, uncertain if he was lying or speaking truth.

Thor released him. “Promise me, Loki, promise me-”

“Never again,” Loki vowed to pacify him. “I swear it.”

Thor nodded solemnly.

“You should rest, brother. You have a long day ahead of you,” Loki recommended.

Thor gave him a weak smile. “You should rest as well, Loki.”

Loki nodded and watched him leave. The second he was alone Loki’s legs gave out under him. Thor had believed every word he had said to Loki, but that did not mean he would hold to them forever. Stubborn as Thor was, he could still be persuaded, as Loki knew all too well. Even if Thor changed the law, public opinion might not be on his side. If that happened, it would not matter how much Thor cared about Loki, if the people did not support him, his reign over Asgard would be short lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise things will get better for Loki. Eventually.


	4. Sun and Moon: Fourth Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new day dawns, and Thor makes a strange request of Loki.

The next day dawned bright and clear, and the morning was packed with last minute preparations and fittings; a grand parade and banquet. The brothers found themselves on strict schedules that kept them apart until early afternoon. Half an hour before the start of ceremony, Loki managed to sneak away from the bustling crowd and found Thor pacing the chamber adjacent to the throne room. His silver, feathered helmet was clutched in one hand and Mjolnir in the other, and his mind adrift when Loki appeared at his side.

“Loki,” Thor breathed, surprised by his brother’s sudden appearance.

“Thor,” Loki smiled in reply.

“How are you?” Thor whispered.

Loki shrugged. “As well as can be expected. This helmet is a tad heavier than I had anticipated.”

Thor stifled a chuckle as he glanced up at Loki’s goat horn helmet. “Really, Loki, how are you?”

Loki gave a light sigh. “Better, I suppose. Less inclined to leap off a balcony. Although, that might ease my headache.”

“You also drank more than your fare share last night,” Thor remined him.

“Never again,” Loki vowed. “I shall leave the heavy drinking to you.”

Thor roared with laughter. “I excel at that.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed over the years,” Loki reassured him.

Thor smiled at him and put on his helmet. “How do I look?”

“A fool with feathers,” Loki replied.

“This coming from a cow?” Thor mused.

“Goat,” Loki corrected before adding kindly. “You look like a king.”

Thor smiled at him as an attendant entered the room.

“Your Highness, it is time,” he said urgently.

Thor nodded once before whispering to Loki, “Meet me after the banquet.” 

“Why?” Loki inquired, instantly suspicious.

Thor glanced around the antechamber; they were alone. “My chambers, please,” he implored before another attendant came and ushered Loki out.

Loki’s head was in a fog as he was directed around the throne room. What was Thor planning? Loki had only been in his brother’s room a handful of times. In fact, Thor had always been the one to sneak into Loki’s room to suggest some adventure around the palace, but this felt different. The caution Thor had taken to be sure that they were alone, and his decision to whisper puzzled Loki, but as the ceremony began, he tried to put it from his mind. He was the second born son of Odin, and it wouldn’t do for him to be lost in thought during his brother’s coronation.

Thor’s showmanship was on full display as he approached the throne. The crowd cheered loudly, and he ate up their praise with a broad smile on his face. He tossed Mjolnir into the air and raised the mighty hammer above his head with ease. He smiled at Sif, who rolled her eyes, and nodded to the Warriors Three before kneeling before Odin. As he removed his helmet, Thor shot a wink in the direction of his mother. From where Loki stood, it appeared that Thor had winked at him.

“It’s the angle you’re standing at,” he told himself, his chest tight.

Thor’s thunderous oath swearing echoed off the walls and resonated in Loki’s ears until he could hear nothing but the booming, “I swear,” Thor gave to seal Odin’s oaths.

“Thor Odinson, I, Odin All-father, proclaim you Crown Prince of Asgard,” Odin announced to deafening applause.

Thor smiled humbly and rose to his feet. As he turned to face the crowd, Loki swore Thor’s eyes rested on him for a few seconds longer than they should have.

“You are seeing things,” Loki scolded himself as he escorted his mother from the throne room.

Another parade wound through the streets of Asgard, and children threw streamers and confetti at Thor as he passed in his chariot. By the time he reached the banquet hall, the sun was beginning to set, and his stomach was rumbling. The meal was brought out in courses, and Thor heaped large portions onto his plate, while calling for more ale. A few seats away, Loki quietly filled and emptied his plate; his small portions masking the staggering amount of food he was consuming.

“More salmon, brother?” Thor called, while chewing on a boar’s leg.

“Thank you,” Loki replied with a polite smile.

A serving woman placed a full salmon before Loki and he thanked her softly before placing a small portion of it on his plate.

“This is why you are so thin, Loki,” Fandral criticized from across the table. “You eat so little.”

“Forgive me for not eating as much as Volstagg,” Loki quipped before taking a bite of salmon.

Volstagg, who was sitting at Loki’s left, laughed loudly in approval before finishing off the leg of lamb in his hand and reaching for another.

“Loki has a heartier appetite than one would think,” Thor smiled.

Loki felt his cheeks warm as he discreetly replenished his plate.

“You drink more than one would think,” Sif commented with a smile.

“No, I think everyone knows exactly how much he drinks,” Fandral mused as Thor drained his goblet.

“Another!” Thor bellowed, and Sif rolled her eyes.

“Keep that pace up and you will be no good to anyone,” she said, giving Thor a sideways glance from her seat beside him.

“Let him be, Sif,” Hogun muttered from her other side.

“No, Sif has a point,” Volstagg smiled. “Bedding is much more difficult when drunk.”

Fandral shared his smile, Sif rolled her eyes, Hogun sighed and Loki took a long drink to hide the rising color in his cheeks.

“Why not walk up to Odin now, and announce that you would like nothing more than to fuck the future king?” Loki internally chastised himself.

“I will not be bedding anyone tonight, Volstagg,” Thor informed him.

“You are the crown prince, surely that is cause for celebration!” Fandral exclaimed.

“Not tonight,” Thor insisted.

Loki dropped his gaze to his plate.

“If you will excuse me, I shall retire early,” Thor announced, rising from his chair.

Every eye looked up at him in dismay. The evening was just beginning, with acrobats and dancers planned for after dinner, and an aerial display at midnight to commemorate his coronation. Frigga instantly noticed his actions and made her way to his side.

“Thor,” she mother scolded, linking her arm in his, “Sit. You are being rude.”

“I am tired,” he replied softly. “Make my apologies to father.”

“You will offend everyone who has come here today if you are absent,” Frigga reminded him.

“Mother, please, I do not feel well,” Thor confessed. “Allow me an hour’s rest.”

Frigga sighed and reluctantly released him. Her eyes followed him as he left the banquet hall before turning to Loki. He dropped his gaze, but she knew that he had observed everything. Loki’s eyes were rarely no on his brother, but only Frigga observed the pain in his eyes when they were not resting on Thor.

“How are you, my son?” she whispered in his ear.

“I am well, mother,” Loki replied with an elastic smile.

Frigga returned his smile and he rose from his seat to walk with her.

“I have been standing all day, yet I cannot sit,” she sighed as Loki linked his arm in hers.

“I know the feeling,” he mused.

They walked in step to the balcony and took in the early evening air.

“Loki,” Frigga whispered, “how is your brother?”

“Fine, as far as I know,” Loki shrugged.

“He has something on his mind,” Frigga confided.

Loki’s eyebrows faintly contracted.

“I am worried about him,” Frigga continued.

“I could speak with him,” Loki suggested as his heart began to race.

Frigga smiled. “Thank you, Loki.”

“Of course, mother,” Loki replied.

Frigga watched Loki leave and saw what her omniscient husband could not. Loki’s boots fell lightly on the smooth floor, and his stride small, but quick. He moved with purpose, and did not look about the banquet hall; his attention was elsewhere. Frigga had seen this lightness of foot and determination of purpose many times in her life. Whether it came from slipper foot or boot, the stride of one bound for their lover’s presence was unmistakable.

“Oh, Loki,” she whispered to herself as she returned to Odin’s side. “Be careful.”

Odin glanced at his wife and she gave him a reassuring smile.

“Where has Thor gone?” he inquired softly.

“To rest,” Frigga replied, “he has had a long day.”

Odin nodded and sipped his ale. “He had better return for the festivities.”

“I told him as much,” Frigga said soothingly.

Odin chuckled. “Where would I be without my wife?”

“Dead,” Frigga smiled.

Odin smiled back and shook his head before kissing her cheek. “Would that Thor find a wife such as you,” he mused.

“Let him find love first,” Frigga advised. “Then a wife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pre-coronation conversation between Thor and Loki was inspired by a deleted scene from the first Thor movie.


	5. Sun and Moon: Fifth Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki learns what Thor wanted to tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to publish this on Friday, like normal, but that's the day after Thanksgiving, and I will be busy with my family. So not only do you guys get this chapter early, it's also a longer one. This chapter finishes off part one of the series, and I will start publishing part two next week. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your encouraging comments, they've made writing this a blast and I can't wait to show you what I have planned for this series!
> 
> Also, sex. I don't usually write it, but I felt that it was necessary for this chapter. I'm never satisfied with how I write it, so all I ask is that you please be kind with your comments.

Loki’s heart beat in time with his footfalls as he approached Thor’s chambers. He had told Loki to meet him after the banquet, which he had then left early. There had to be a connection; Thor had been preparing for it his whole life. Why then had he risked offending everyone by leaving early? Loki knew it was foolish to think that he was the reason for Thor’s brash behavior, but the lightness in his heart spurred him forward.

“He told me to come,” Loki whispered to himself as neared Thor’s chambers.

At the door, Loki paused. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then, he entered.

“You came,” Thor’s voice greeted him warmly.

He was sitting in one of two chairs positioned in front of the fireplace. There was a small table between them, on which Thor had set two goblets and a bottle of wine. He had changed out of his ceremonial armor into a simple red tunic and black pants.

“I did,” Loki said, his voice tight. He had not expected this.

“I wasn’t sure you would,” Thor admitted.

He stood up, grabbed a goblet in each hand, and offering one to Loki.

“Thank you,” Loki said, accepting the goblet and draining half of it.

“Loki, relax,” Thor encouraged.

Loki lowered his eyes, and stared at the dark wine. “I thought you didn’t like wine.”

“You do,” Thor reminded him.

“Thor, what is this?” Loki demanded, looking Thor in the eye.

Thor’s face crumbled. “Loki, I wanted to speak with you. Alone.”  

“Alone,” Loki repeated, setting his goblet down. “Why?”

“There is something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time,” Thor admitted cautiously, “but the time was never right, and I had to be sure.”

“What are you playing at?” Loki hissed.

Thor dropped his gaze. “I should have waited…but after…I thought….”

“Speak you great oaf!” Loki snapped.

“Loki, have you ever considered that I might feel the same way you do?” Thor inquired in a whisper.

Loki opened his mouth, but words failed him, so he set his jaw instead. This was a trick; a jest to make him into more of an unnatural fool, and it made Loki feel sick.

He had done everything he could to keep his tastes hidden. He’d written poems and sonnets to various women and had taken long walks with them in the palace gardens. He’d wooed and courted, just as the others did, never letting his eyes rest for too long upon his brother. But it was like trying to ignore the sun. No matter how honeyed his words were, the conversation always turned to Thor. How could it not? He was the firstborn son of Odin, the golden prince; the epitome of Asgardian masculinity. What was Loki compared to that? The second born, the slender one with his nose perpetually buried in a book; a weakling. A weakling who loved his brother, who desired him, who knew he would be killed if his incestuous fantasies were ever discovered.

Thor knew all this in part, and he had the gall to say this? After everything Thor had said, the promises, and secrets he’d kept, a part of Loki had believed that Thor understood him. That he sympathized with him. Evidently, he had been mistaken.

“Loki,” Thor breathed, stepping closer.

“Get away from me!” Loki yelled. “You lied to me, Thor! You lied to me, and I believed you. All these years, I believed you!”

“Let me explain,” Thor said, his voice faint.

“There is nothing for you to explain,” Loki insisted. “You cannot know what I have suffered. The golden prince, father’s favorite, Sif’s lover; you have had everything handed to you! While all I could hope for was a nod from mother, all while longing for your approval!”

Thor sat in one of the chairs. “Loving someone you can never have, it tears you apart. It eats away at you until you hate yourself, and seeing their face only makes it worse, but that’s all you want. Seeing them, laughing with them, and knowing that you’re appreciated in some measure; even if it isn’t in the way you want it to be. It’s enough.”

Loki shifted his weight, controlling his face so Thor wouldn’t see the effect his words were having on him.

“You always knew who you loved, but it was not that simple for me,” Thor confessed before considering Loki’s eyes. “When you were reading under the apple tree, it was one of the most beautiful sights I’d ever known. I kissed you under that tree, once. You hit me over the head with your book, but I was happy because I’d had enough courage to kiss you. Later, I saw Sif running from a guard, a stolen sword in hand, and her beauty was equal to yours. I kissed her not too long after. She punched me.”

“She gave you quite the black eye,” Loki recalled.

Thor nodded. “I loved Sif for many years after that,” he admitted, “and Fandral, for a time.”

“Fandral?” Loki blinked.

“You too?” Thor smiled.

 Loki found himself giving Thor a guilty smile. “But not anymore, I take it?” Loki inquired.

“I stopped loving him long ago,” Thor admitted. “My love for Sif has been diminishing ever since I realized that there is someone I love more.”

His sapphire eyes looked up into the emerald of Loki’s and shone in the firelight.

“Me,” Loki said.

Thor smiled at him and rose to his feet. “You,” he confirmed.

Thor pressed his mouth against Loki’s.

“Is this real?” Loki wondered. “Does Thor truly feel this way?”

Thor kissed him more deeply and a blissful silence unfolded across Loki’s mind. He opened his mouth, and inhaled the barrels of ale that perfumed Thor’s breath. It was nauseating, and Thor’s tongue kept pinning Loki’s down, but the taste of Thor’s mouth on his was exhilarating. An excited giggle escaped from Loki’s mouth between kisses, while a ball of adrenaline gathered in his gut. Thor was kissing him. Thor loved him. Thor had always loved him.

“Do you believe me now?” Thor inquired, pulling away.

“Yes,” Loki admitted.

They were both breathing heavily and unsure of how to proceed. Neither of them had thought that far ahead or anticipated any of this. They were letting everything happen as it came to them. It was thrilling and terrifying, but it was also freeing.

“Thor?” Loki whispered.

“Yes, Loki?” Thor replied.

“Why tell me this now?” Loki inquired.

Thor hesitated. “My silence brought on your actions last night,” he whispered.

Loki shifted uncomfortably.

“I do not expect this to remedy the pain you have felt since we were children,” Thor continued, “but I needed you to know that you have not been suffering alone.”

Loki considered this. “You never thought to tell me before? Not even when we were young?”

It was Thor’s turn to hesitate. “Father told me it was a phase. That I would grow out of it in time.”

Loki bowed his head.

“I even believed him for a time,” Thor confessed. “Then, you kissed me before hiding in the tower all day. Your kiss made me realize that I had never stopped loving you.”

Loki searched Thor’s eyes for any trace of a lie, and found none.

 “Now what?” he inquired.

Thor chuckled nervously before taking Loki’s hand in his. “Anything you want,” he replied.

“…They will wonder where you are,” Loki muttered after a moment’s pause.

“Let them wonder,” Thor shrugged.

“Mother sent me to find you,” Loki informed him nervously.

Thor’s eyes widened, and he cupped Loki’s face in his hands. “No, no, shhh, I know what you’re thinking. She’s not going to know. We won’t let her find out. Listen to me Loki, go back now and tell her that you couldn’t find me. Tell her…tell her I’m off whoring, or whatever lie your silvertongue invents. Then, after a little while, come back here.”

“That’s…actually not a bad plan,” Loki admitted.

Thor smiled before kissing him deeply. “Go. I will be here when you return, my love.”

***

Loki sat through a tumbling act for an hour and a half before slipping away. Everyone’s attention was fixed on the performers by then, but few people paid attention to him anyway. Loki’s heart was soaring in his chest, but he curbed the impulse to run to Thor’s chambers. Now that the banquet was over, Heimdall would be more inclined to turn his gaze on Asgard. Throughout the first hour of the performance, Loki had been scolding himself for not thinking of the Guardian sooner. Then he’d remembered how Thor’s lips had felt on his; a sweet, overpowering drug that he needed another dose of.

Loki didn’t hesitate at Thor’s door this time, but took care to look over his shoulder before entering.

“Loki,” Thor said warmly as Loki closed the door.

He rushed to Loki’s side to embrace him, but Loki stopped him with a raised hand.

“Brother,” he said, his voice even as he summoned his magic.

Thor gave him a confused look. “Is something-?”

Loki cast his spell. “There, now not even Heimdall will be able to see, or hear us.”

Thor smiled at Loki. “You’re cute when you get like this.”

“I’m being cautious, is all,” Loki muttered.

Thor smirked at this, and Loki kissed him before he could say another word. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and he wrapped his hands around Loki’s hips. After a few seconds, Loki began to play with Thor’s lower lip; running his tongue over the sensitive skin and biting playfully. Thor winced, and Loki released him after smothering him with a long kiss.

“What…?” Thor breathed, searching Loki’s eyes for an explanation.

Loki gave him a lopsided smile in reply.

“I didn’t expect that from you,” Thor said, mildly angry.

“Did you hate it?” Loki inquired.

“I wasn’t expecting it,” Thor repeated.

“Is that a no?” Loki pressed.

“No,” Thor confirmed.

Loki smiled. “So, if I did it again?”

Thor stopped his mouth with a long kiss, followed by a light kiss on the nose, then his forehead, before brushing his lips down the bridge of Loki’s nose. Loki shivered, and Thor gave him a hungry look. He kissed Loki’s neck lightly, then more deeply. Thor opened his mouth and bit at Loki’s soft flesh and a moan of pain escaped Loki’s lips. Thor’s fingers made quick work of the fastenings of Loki’s tunic, exposing his thin chest to Thor’s touch. He ran the tips of his fingers from Loki’s collar bone down to the top of Loki’s pants, causing Loki to quiver with desire.

“Don’t stop there,” he breathed.

Thor smiled and ran his lips up Loki’s abdomen. “Patience,” he whispered before assaulting Loki’s mouth with his.

Loki’s guts had been twisting with pleasure since Thor’s first kiss, and the skin of his neck and chest were burning under Thor’s touch. His kisses were stealing the oxygen from Loki’s lungs, and he gasped for air in the milliseconds between them. Thor began to suck at Loki’s lower lip, while his arms pulling Loki against his barrel chest. Trembling, Loki wormed his fingers into Thor’s golden hair as Thor’s thick fingers worked to remove his shirt.

“Thor,” Loki gasped.

Thor’s massive hands slid to Loki’s slender waist, before his eyes met Loki’s, searching for permission. Loki smirked and took Thor’s right hand in his, sliding it into his pants, guiding his brother’s hand to what it sought. Thor took hold of Loki’s hardened manhood and found that it was longer than he’d expected. He smirked at Loki and ran his thumb down to the head to get a better idea of what he was working with.

“I’ve had enough of patience,” Loki hissed, bracing himself against Thor.

Thor bit at Loki’s neck and he tightened his grip on Loki’s cock. Loki let out a sharp cry and Thor began sliding his hand along Loki’s dick, punctuating each pump with either a kiss or a bite. Loki held out for longer than Thor had expected, but when he did come, it was accompanied by one of Thor’s bites.

“Thor,” Loki screamed, leaning into Thor as he rode out his climax.

Thor kissed the top of Loki’s head. His hair had a faint lavender scent to it, and Thor buried his nose in the dark locks. Loki rested his head against Thor’s shoulder, his eyes closed, his attention on each breath Thor took.

“Bed,” Loki murmured.

Thor hesitated, and Loki locked their eyes together. “I said, bed,” he hissed.

A crooked smile crossed Thor’s face before he pulled Loki onto his hips, his massive hands and forearms easily supporting Loki’s weight as he carried him to the bed. Loki tangled his long fingers in Thor’s hair and grabbed it by the fistful as Thor laid him down on the bed. Thor’s mouth was hot on Loki’s as his thick legs pushed Loki’s apart.

“No,” Loki insisted, pushing at Thor’s barrel chest.

Thor paused, confused by Loki’s sudden refusal. Loki smiled up at him and slid his legs around Thor’s waist, while hooking his arms around Thor’s neck. He smirked as he understood what Loki wanted, and rolled over, so he was looking up into Loki’s emerald eyes.

“Better,” Loki whispered, brushing a loose strand to the side of Thor’s face.

Loki lowered his head and kissed Thor’s collar bone, his fingers nimbly freeing Thor’s chest from his tunic. He then looked up at Thor and smirked as his hands pushed the red fabric of the tunic out of his way. He ran his hands down Thor’s chest and unbuckled his pants before pulling them off.

“Loki,” Thor breathed.

Loki smirked at him and slid his hand around Thor’s thick cock.

“Mm, brother,” Loki whispered, circling his thumb around the sensitive head.

Thor moaned.

“I haven’t even started yet,” Loki muttered before sliding his mouth around Thor’s dick.

The process was more different than Loki had imagined. The thickness of Thor’s manhood made it difficult for him to tightly seal his lips while he sucked, and he half-choked himself after pushing Thor’s cock too far back in his mouth. Despite all this, Thor hardened quickly in Loki’s mouth and came enthusiastically a short time later. His cum filled the remaining space in Loki’s mouth, resulting in him spitting out Thor’s cock before gasping for air and coughing up cum on the sheets.

“Loki,” Thor whispered tenderly, wrapping his arms around Loki’s shoulders as he coughed up more semen.

“I am not doing that again,” Loki grumbled as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“It’s alright, Loki,” Thor whispered. “We will figure this out.”

Loki lifted his head and gave Thor a weak smile, which Thor returned as he pushed a lock of raven hair behind Loki’s ear.

“Beautiful,” Thor intoned.

“I’m a mess,” Loki muttered, sitting back on his feet.

“You are still beautiful,” Thor insisted, cupping Loki’s face and kissing his right cheek.

Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s chest and Thor did the same. They held each other, taking in the other’s musk of sweat and semen. Thor then slowly removed his tunic and Loki slid out of his pants before they laid down, face to face, within a breath of each other. They exchanged a nervous smile and Loki moved closer, wrapping his arms around Thor, and resting his head against his chest. They were motionless, listening to each other’s breathing, feeling the warmth of the other’s body, and taking in everything that had happened. In the back of their minds, they knew that they were in more danger now than they had been in before. Desire was explainable, perhaps even forgivable, but action was deliberate. If they were discovered now, they would be put to death.

“Let them find us,” Loki thought to himself. “What we have done, they cannot undo.”

He tilted his chin upward and smiled at the man he had loved for as long as he could remember, and Thor smiled back.

“I love you,” Loki confessed. “I love you so much, Thor.”

Thor moved to kissed him. “I love you, Loki,” he professed.

Loki closed his eyes and a blissful smile appeared on his lips. “I have waited for so long to hear you say that,” he mused.

“I love you, Loki,” Thor repeated.

Loki’s smile widened, and Thor kissed his nose.

“Rest now, my love,” Thor whispered.

Loki nestled his head against Thor’s chest and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.


End file.
